


We were always gonna be forever

by Anonymous



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: 13/14 season, Angst, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Patrick Sharp is a Dad, Pining, dumb boys in love, feelings are hard, they’re both idiots, they’re so soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 12:59:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18344168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “You’ve not got a problem with me hooking up, you’ve got a problem with me hooking up with guys,” Tyler says.Which, no. No?“That’s not - that’s,” Jamie fumbles over his words.“You know what, I never took you for a homophobe,” Tyler says, and Jamie tries to protest but Tyler just shakes his head, “No don’t even say anything. You wanna be a dick about it? Fine. But at least admit that’s what you’re doing.”





	We were always gonna be forever

Jamie is religious, or, he’s not, really, but he was brought up going to church and believing in certain things. And okay, he’s not homophobic or anything - though saying that is a terrible way to convince someone of the fact - it’s just. Like. It’s almost a foreign concept to him. He grew up in a small town, then moved to freaking _Texas_ to play in the NHL, so it’s not like he’s actually come into contact with that many gay people. That he knows of, at least. 

So when Tyler arrives in Dallas, all bright smiles and sunshine - even though Jamie can instantly tell he’s insecure and afraid of the new start - it’s like, a really hard cross check. Or something. Because Tyler is a breath of fresh air, not just for the team, but for Jamie personally, and he quickly finds himself wanting to spend every waking moment of the day with him. Which is cool, it’s fine, cos they’re teammates and that’s what they do, and it’s not like they’re completely codependent or anything, _shut up Sharpy._

But Tyler is very tactile. He’s always pressed up against Sharpy’s side, or draped over Jordie’s back, or something. And that’s fine, it is, but like, he’s not like that with Jamie. Not that Jamie’s _bothered_ obviously, Seggy is his bro, he doesn’t need to cuddle him. But he can’t help but wonder why he doesn’t get the same treatment. He’s not jealous or anything, it’s just. Weird. 

And then half way through their first season together, Tyler just. Comes out. In hindsight it should have been at least a little obvious really, with the whole, _steers and queers_ thing, but whatever. He doesn’t make a big deal of it or anything, just stands up in the locker room one morning after an early practice and says it. 

“So I just thought you should all know that I’m gay, or whatever,” Tyler says. 

And he’s doing that thing that makes Jamie’s heart kind of hurt a little bit, when he plasters on a cocky grin and acts all confident, but Jamie can see it in his eyes that he’s actually terrified. There was no reason for him to be, obviously, the guys just pat him on the back or give him a hug, then carry on with getting changed. No one is hesitant to shower with him or strip in front of him. Everything stays the same. Except maybe Tyler seems a bit happier, like he’d been figuring out how to say it for months and now the weight was finally off his shoulders. And Jamie loves that, that Tyler is more care free and relaxed around the team. He always wants Tyler to be that way. 

So nothing really changes. Until it does. 

Jamie doesn’t even really notice it at first. Because he’s honestly not homophobic, like, his best friend and favourite person in the entire world is gay, right? So he’s not. Only now Tyler is out to the team, he sometimes picks up in front of them. Subtly, obviously, he’s still a famous NHL player with a reckless past, and he needs to be careful, but. He picks up. _Guys._ And that’s honestly, completely fine. Like, Jamie didn’t care when he thought Tyler was hooking up with girls, and he doesn’t care now he knows he’s hooking up with guys. 

It’s just that, he finds himself looking away every time he sees Tyler turn the charm on some unsuspecting guy who’s not even good enough for him anyway. Every time he smiles, glances up at someone through his really long eyelashes and rests a hand on the guys arm, Jamie gets a knot in his stomach. It’s not a thing though, really he’s just worried about his teammate. His buddy. Concerned that he’s gonna get himself caught out and end up on Deadspin again. He’s just looking out for him, is all. Yeah. 

But then Vegas happens. And _of course_ it’s in fucking Vegas. They beat the Knights spectacularly and they don’t fly back home until the following afternoon, so, naturally, they want to get drunk. Jamie normally tries to keep a lid on things when they all go out, but they’ve had a fucking _awesome_ road trip, picking up seven out of eight points, and he feels like they all deserve to blow off some steam. So they find the closest bar to the hotel they’re staying in and they all let loose a bit, throwing back shots, dancing with the hottest girls they can get their hands on, it’s great. 

Then Jamie - because he’s so attuned to him even off the ice - notices Tyler sneaking out the door, a grin on his face and some sort of male model attached to his arm. Jamie feels queasy all of a sudden, apologises to the tiny brunette who’s grinding on him, and rushes back to the table the team had occupied. 

He’s a good captain, so there’s a pitcher of water in the middle of the table to try and encourage the guys to not get too drunk, or at least hydrate between rounds. He pours himself a glass and downs it in one, scrunching his eyes closed and waiting for the heavy feeling in his stomach to pass. 

“You good?” Jordie asks him, bumping their shoulders together. 

“Fuck, yeah, just too much to drink,” Jamie tries to laugh.

And yeah, that must be it. Too many shots forced down his throat by Demers. He should probably head back. 

“Lightweight,” his big brother teases. 

Jamie can’t be bothered chirping him back, just nods, “I’m gonna head back I think. Make sure they don’t miss curfew,” he says, nodding towards the gaggle of their teammates on the dance floor. 

“You sure you’re alright?” Jordie checks, a concerned frown appearing on his forehead. 

“Stop being such a big brother, just need to sleep it off. See you in the morning,” he says, and then makes his way though the crowd of people to get the hell out. 

*

He paces the floor of his hotel room for a solid twenty minutes before he finally just climbs in bed. He can’t sleep though, keeps checking the glowing red digits of the alarm clock on the nightstand. It’s ten minutes until curfew, and although Jordie had already text to let him know the rest of the team had got back to the hotel without _major incident_ , whatever the fuck that meant, Tyler still wasn’t back. He knew that because they shared a room on the road, had done since Tyler first arrived in Dallas, and, looking back, it was the first time he and Tyler hadn’t left the bar at the same time.

Not that he’s bothered. 

It’s three minutes before everyone has to be back in their rooms when Tyler walks in. The lights are off so Tyler _tries_ to be quiet at least, but he’s Tyler, so that fails when he bangs his _something_ against the wardrobe in the corner of the room. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” he hisses. 

And that does it for Jamie. He launches himself out of bed and smacks his hand against the light switch, flooding the room in an artificial yellow light. Tyler flinches as his eyes adjust to the brightness, but he tries to give Jamie a grin. 

“Sorry bro, didn’t mean to wake you,” he chuckles, scratching at the stubble that’s starting to grow around his jaw. 

“What the _fuck_ , Segs?”

“What?” He asks, taken aback at Jamie’s outburst, “I didn’t miss curfew!”

“Only fucking just!” Jamie almost-yells, “What the fuck are you playing at?”

“What is your problem? I’m back on time!” Tyler retorts, a frown starting to settle in the space between his eyebrows. 

“I thought you were fucking done with this shit?”

“I’m not late, I’m not even drunk Chubbs, what the fuck?” And fuck, Tyler sounds almost worried, but Jamie just can’t seem to stop. 

“You can’t just almost fucking miss curfew for some sleazy hookup,” Jamie practically hisses, turning away from Tyler and running a hand through his hair. 

Okay. So maybe it wasn’t the alcohol earlier. But still. He’s not wrong. Tyler wasn’t careful enough, could have easily been seen and ended up on every sporting network on the damn continent. 

“ _Excuse me?_ ” Tyler says, and Jamie knows he’s like, _pissed_ pissed. 

“You can’t just go off with some fucking _guy_ in the middle of Vegas where anyone could recognise you,” he tries to reason. 

Tyler nods his head but it’s not in agreement. Then he tilts his head back and laughs, a bitter, ugly sound that Jamie really doesn’t like coming from him. 

“So _that’s_ what this is about?”

And. Jamie literally _just_ told him what it was about?

“You’ve not got a problem with me hooking up, you’ve got a problem with me hooking up with guys,” Tyler says. 

Which, no. No?

“That’s not - that’s,” Jamie fumbles over his words. 

“You know what, I never took you for a homophobe,” Tyler says, and Jamie tries to protest but Tyler just shakes his head, “no don’t even say anything. You wanna be a dick about it? Fine. But at least admit that’s what you’re doing.”

“That’s not what I meant, I just mean, y’know, this is _Boston Tyler,_ and I thought you’d left him behind.”

Tyler actually fucking _flinches_ at that, and fuck, that’s not what Jamie meant to say, at all, it’s not even close to being true, but he just keeps digging the hole deeper and deeper. 

“Go fuck yourself, _Captain._ ”

And with that Tyler turns around and walks straight back out of the room, leaving Jamie feeling like the absolute worst person on the planet. Which. He deserves, really. Because apparently he’s a raging homophobe. 

He honestly, _honestly_ never thought he had a problem with gay people. Like yeah, he knows what the bible says, but the bible says a lot of shit he doesn’t believe in, so he figured this was the same. It’s clearly not though, because once Tyler has said it, Jamie becomes acutely aware of his behaviour. Getting angry whenever Segs flirted with a guy, the knot in his stomach when he saw hickeys on his chest in the locker room, the sickly feeling in his gut whenever he leant too close to whisper in a strangers ear. 

_Fuck_. Jamie was a homophobe and he didn’t even know it. The thought makes him feel more than a bit sick, as he slowly climbs back into his bed. He wants to go after Tyler and explain somehow, but what would he say? Admitting he doesn’t like Tyler hooking up with guys wouldn’t exactly help the situation, and what else could he say? He isn’t gonna lie to his face. 

But the empty feeling in his chest grows as he tosses and turns. Because Seggy is his liney, his best friend, and he can’t imagine losing him. But he isn’t sure how he could make it okay either. There are no cards that say “sorry I’m a bigot”. 

*

Breakfast is a quiet, awkward affair. For as long as Tyler had been in Dallas, he and Jamie had sat together at team, well, _everythings_. So Jamie isn’t at all surprised by the strange looks he gets from his teammates when Tyler sits with Dillon, Horcoff, and Sharpy on the other side of the room, then leaves before everyone else. And he’s only slightly surprised when he gets back to their hotel room to pack and realises that all of Tyler’s stuff has already been cleared out of the room. 

He feels sick, and it’s not from a hangover, god he didn’t even drink that much, really. He just doesn’t know what to do. The heavy feeling in his chest has turned into a emptiness that’s consuming him. He hates Tyler being mad at him, hates the thought that he’s ruined their friendship, but knows he absolutely deserves to be on the receiving end of Tyler’s hurt and anger. 

He doesn’t _want_ to have a problem with Tyler being gay, he really doesn’t, and if it was anyone else on the team he knows he wouldn’t. So maybe that makes him even worse. That he’s more bothered when it’s his best friend who he spends all his time with. 

Fuck, he’s a shitty person. 

He’s the captain though, so the guys respect his privacy to a certain extent. They let him mope at the back of the bus on the way to the airport, and they leave him alone while they’re waiting around to board their flight, but it doesn’t last long. He takes a seat on the plane and tries to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach when Tyler walks straight past him to another seat. Like fuck, that hurts. The seat beside him doesn’t remain empty though, and Sharpy drops into it silently, not even opening his mouth until the wheels are up and they’re cruising at a steady altitude. 

“So, Captain,” Sharpy says, finally breaking the silence, “Do you want to maybe explain why I had to share my bed with Tyler last night?”

Jamie fumbles his phone, even though he was absolutely expecting the conversation to happen. He refuses to meet Sharpy’s eyes, he’s such a _Dad_ that Jamie, everybody, finds it hard to avoid answering his questions. Sharpy knows this, obviously, and so he digs his elbow into Jamie’s ribs until he’s forced to look up. 

“What?”

“What did you do, Chubbs?” Sharpy asks, sighing. 

“How do you know it was _my_ fault?” Jamie asks in exasperation. 

Sharpy doesn’t even answer, just gives Jamie a look that tells him to shut the hell up. 

“Fine,” Jamie concedes, “we had a fight, it’s fine.”

“It’s not _fine_. Look, I don’t know what you said, but whatever it was, it’s got him really fucked up. He’s all sad and quiet, like when he first got here, and I love you Cap, but if you don’t fix it I will knock your lights out, ‘cos he doesn’t deserve whatever this is.”

And that fucking sucks, because all Jamie has wanted since he first met Tyler was to make him feel at home with the team, with _him_. He hates that he’s the reason Tyler is sad, is beyond desperate to fix it, but has no idea what he can possibly say to solve it. He wants to tell him he got it all wrong, that he doesn’t care that Tyler is gay, but he must do, right? He can’t even look at him when he’s flirting with a guy, so he obviously has a problem with it. His stomach turns for the millionth time since they fought. 

He closes his eyes. He hadn’t slept at all the night before, so he falls into a fitful sleep. 

*

Tyler had ridden to the airport with Jamie and Jordie before the roadie, so Jordie drives them home from the airport in deafening silence. Clearly _everyone_ knows it was Jamie who fucked up, because he’s relegated to the back seat and Segs gets to sit up front. Normally he would throw a hissy fit, because, rude. It’s his truck. But like. Jamie figures he should start keeping his mouth shut more often. So he does. And when Tyler gets out the elevator a few floors before Jamie’s stop, and only says goodbye to Jordie, Jamie’s heart kind of shatters. 

Jordie gives him the death stare. You know. The one he’s had twenty plus years to master using on Jamie. But he doesn’t say a word. Not in the elevator, or when they finally make it inside their apartment, and not for the hour or so they spend unpacking and sorting out their laundry. The silence is kind of starting to make Jamie’s skin crawl. Tyler ignoring him is hell, but Jordie too? That’s just unbearable. 

After two hours of silence, when Jamie is getting ready to put a fist through his bedroom wall, he stalks out of his room and into the kitchen where Jordie is preparing his dinner (Jamie can’t help but notice that there’s only enough food for one, which tells him he’s really in trouble). 

“Jordie.”

Silence. 

“Jordie, fucking say something,” Jamie says, “please.”

“Alright. What the fuck did you say to Segs?”

“I didn’t mean to upset him, I-“

“Yeah I don’t give a shit if you _meant_ it or not, Chubbs. He fucking _cried_ last night.”

Which. Yeah, that’s possibly the worst thing Jamie has ever heard in his life. And he’s not exaggerating. Because Tyler doesn’t cry, like, ever. Not all the times when he was homesick, not when he played his first game against Boston and the fans booed him all night long, never. And the fact that _Jamie_ made him cry? He can feel his bones aching under the weight of that. 

“He - I - what?” Jamie stutters. 

“He came into Sharpy’s room last night in fucking hysterics, couldn’t understand a word of what he was saying other than your name,” Jordie explains, “I nearly came over and decked you but he stopped me, wouldn’t let me and Daddy leave the room until we promised we weren’t gonna go to your room.”

Typical Tyler, really, Jamie can’t help but notice. He was looking out for Jamie even after he’d treated him like shit, which Jamie absolutely did _not_ deserve, but is such a Tyler thing to do. He has a heart bigger than anyone Jamie has ever known. And typical Jordie too, really - willing to put Jamie in his place when he’s in the wrong, even if they are family. 

“Fuck, Jordie, I really, _really_ didn’t mean to hurt him like that, like, I didn’t even realise what I was doing? I had no idea until he pointed it out? And then, it wasn’t like I could deny it because it was so obvious, right? But like, that’s not how I am, so I don’t know why it’s different with him?” Jamie rambles, asks questions that aren’t really questions as Jordie just stares at him, eyebrows raised, waiting for him to be quiet. 

“Chubbs, Jamie, what are you talking about? What did you actually say?”

“I was homophobic,” Jamie admits. 

Jordie’s eyebrows shoot up even further, and he opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again, as if he’s trying to figure out what to say, or like he has so much to say that he can’t figure out the order he wants to say it in. 

“You were - you were, homophobic?” He finally settles on asking. 

“Yeah, I guess, I mean, I didn’t mean to be, but.”

“Jamie, what did you _say_?” Jordie asks, and Jamie can tell he’s getting frustrated at Jamie’s inability to form actual, coherent sentences. 

Jamie frowns, trying to remember the exact words that came out of his mouth. He knows he didn’t actually _say_ anything homophobic, but the sentiment was there, the meaning he hadn’t even realised was behind the words. He shrugs a little, looks down at his hands as he plays with a bit of skin at the side of his thumb. 

“I got mad at him for nearly being late,” which was true, just not the whole story, “because he was hooking up. With a guy.”

Jordie laughs a little and Jamie can’t help but frown, because it’s certainly not a laughing matter. He’s a bigot and his favourite person in the world hates him, he’s struggling to see the funny side. 

“So you don’t like that he’s hooking up..with guys?” 

“I mean, I guess? Like, I didn’t even realise I was being homophobic until Tyler said so. But like, he’s right? Every time I see him flirting with a guy I get so angry, I hate seeing it. That makes me a really shitty person, Jord,” Jamie confesses. 

Jordie shakes his head. He lets out an exasperated groan, then chuckles a little. His hands are resting on the kitchen counter and he takes a step back, looking down at his shoes with a grin on his face that Jamie really, _really_ wouldn’t mind wiping off. With his fist. Because really, jordie? You’re laughing _now_?

“Jamie, bud, I don’t mean to be blunt, but you’re literally in love with Segs.” 

And that’s. Something. For sure. Definitely not what he expected Jordie to say, like, _at all_. 

“What?” He barely manages to get out, because shocked doesn’t even begin to cover what Jamie is feeling. 

“You weren’t pissed he hooked up with a guy, you were pissed that it wasn’t you,” Jordie elaborates, shaking his head condescendingly.

No. That’s, like, not even possible. Jamie isn’t gay, or like, bi, or whatever else there is. He’s never even looked at a guy in a remotely sexual or romantic way.

(Except for the captain of the hockey team he played on when he was twelve, who made Jamie smile like he’d never smiled before, and his insides feel all, like, fluttery. But shut up. He was twelve. That doesn’t count.)

He wants to protest, laugh in Jordie’s face over how absurdly _wrong_ he is. But. Jamie starts to think about it.

Tyler’s arrival in Dallas changed everything for Jamie; hockey had always been Jamie’s life, but with Tyler it was even better somehow. And they hadn’t gone more than a day without seeing each other since Tyler had got to Dallas. Jamie finds himself remembering all the times he felt a bitter swell of yeah, okay, _jealousy_ , every time Tyler would snuggle up to Daddy or Sharpy, and not him. And oh. The anger at seeing him flirt with guys in bars. Maybe that was jealousy too. 

Jamie looks up to see Jordie’s eyes already watching him closely, a smile almost too soft for his face curling at the corners of his lips. He’s looking at him like he knows exactly what’s running through Jamie’s head, and perhaps he does, because he clearly figured it out before Jamie did. 

“Oh shit,” Jamie let’s slip. 

Because, yeah. Shit. He’s in love with Tyler. The second he acknowledges it, he can’t believe he ever didn’t see it, because it’s so, _so_ obvious. Like, how could he _not_ be in love with Tyler fucking Seguin?

Jordie laughs. “There we go. You’ve finally caught on.”

“I don’t, I didn’t - didn’t know.”

“Yeah I’d figured that one out for myself thanks bud,” Jordie teases. 

“Does Tyler know?” Jamie asks, earning himself a disbelieving look from Jordie. 

“Jamie, he thinks you’re a homophobe.”

“Right.” Yeah. Maybe that was obvious. “I need to talk to him.”

“Well go then!”

So he does. 

*

It takes him three minutes to arrive outside of Segs’ apartment, but ten minutes later he’s still standing there. Because realising you’re in love with your best friend is like, a big deal, and Jamie hadn’t stopped to think about what he was actually going to say to Tyler. Like, he can’t just be all _turns out I like guys and I really like you_ , because he doesn’t think that will be sufficient. Hell, he doesn’t even know if he will be willing to _talk_ to Jamie.

But standing out in the hallway, hovering around like some kind of creep, isn’t really doing anything to help the situation either. So before he lets himself chicken out and walk away, Jamie knocks on Tyler’s door, then holds his breath. 

And like, he’s not one to be all soft or anything, but fuck does his heart race when Tyler opens the door. (Has that always happened? He’s not sure). It’s only been a few hours since he’s seen Tyler, but it had been almost a day since they were on good terms with each other, and Jamie has just. Missed him. Yeah. 

Tyler doesn’t look too happy to see him though, and actually starts to close the door in Jamie’s face before he holds a hand out to stop him and pushes his way inside. Which probably isn’t the best way to go about things, but he’s stressed, okay. Cut him some slack. 

“What do you want?” Tyler asks. 

They’re standing across from each other in the entryway. Tyler has his arms crossed over his chest and his head down, refusing to meet Jamie’s eye. Jamie can read him like a book, he knows that Tyler is nervous, and like, _obviously_ , because he thinks Jamie hates who he is, but Jamie thinks his nerves are about equal, if he’s honest. 

“I’m sorry.”

Tyler’s head snaps up so fast Jamie worries he’s given himself whiplash. 

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” Jamie repeats. 

“For?” Tyler asks, almost like he’s challenging Jamie. 

“For sounding like a homophobic dick. I know, I know that’s what it sounded like, but I promise you,” Jamie begins, but Tyler’s eyes glance back down to the floor, “Tyler look at me, I promise you, I don’t care that you’re gay. Or like, I care, that you know, you’re happy and comfortable and stuff, but it doesn’t bother me, at all.”

Tyler frowns a little, scratches at his freshly shaven jaw as he looks intently at Jamie, like he’s trying to spot the lie in what Jamie has just said. It’s not lost on Jamie that Tyler’s eyes are red, like he’s been crying a lot. It hits like an illegal check into the boards, knowing he’s the reason for it. 

“So what, then? Did you figure it out?” Tyler asks, his voice quieter than Jamie has ever heard him before. 

“I don’t know what you mean, Segs,” Jamie tells him honestly. 

Tyler laughs at that, bitter again, like the night before, and Jamie can’t help but flinch a little. 

“Don’t fuck with me, Jamie, not you,” Tyler says, this time loud enough that it catches the attention of Marshall, who makes his way over to Jamie for a head scratch. 

He obliges, if only to buy himself some time to figure out how to reply. He’s so out of his depth here. At this point he’s less concerned about telling Tyler he’s in love with him, and more focused on salvaging their friendship. He’s not even sure what he’s done wrong this time, is the problem. He doesn’t know what Tyler is even talking about. 

“Ty, buddy, I don’t know what you mean,” Jamie says. 

“Fuck, you’ve got to know,” Tyler says, “surely you’ve noticed how different I act around you than the other guys?”

And yeah, Jamie has. Of course he has. He’s like, in love with Tyler, he notices everything about him, even before he realised how he felt. 

“Did you always, like, think I’d have a problem with it? Is that why you never, like, touched me as much as the other guys?” Jamie asks, because that’s the only logical conclusion he can come to. Although, granted, his brain is kind of fried at the moment. 

Tyler laughs, “Fuck, Jamie.”

“I’m sorry, I just, I don’t know why else you’d have acted different with me? I’m so sorry if you been uncomfortable around me all this time,” Jamie says, because honestly? The thought of Tyler trusting him the _least_ out of everyone hurts something bad. 

Tyler shakes his head, “I didn’t touch you as much because it would be too hard.” 

“What?” Jamie asks. 

“Being that close to you and not having it, like, _mean_ anything,” Tyler whispers. 

“What?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Jamie, I’m fucking in love with you,” Tyler confesses, his voice sounding raw, like it physically pains him to say the words. 

“Oh.” 

And that. Yeah. He doesn’t really have a response for that. Like, he does, his internal monologue is just _he loves me back he loves me back he loves me back_ , but he can’t form a single coherent fucking sentence.

“Yeah, so like, the puck is on your stick, or whatever, it’s up to you what you do with it,” Tyler says, looking anywhere but at Jamie. 

“What?” And yeah, Jamie is starting to sound a lot like a broken record, but this all a little overwhelming for him. 

“Like, if you wanna get me traded or whatever.” 

And suddenly the anger, the bravado, it all slips away from Tyler, and he’s looking at Jamie with wide eyes, and he looks so scared, like it’s going to happen again, like his team is gonna give up on him just like that, just like Boston did. 

Fuck, Tyler should never look that fucking sad, like, ever, and Jamie isn’t sure how to fix it, so he just leans down and presses their lips together. 

He cups Tyler’s jaw with both his hands and kisses him for the length of a heartbeat or two, before Tyler is yanking himself out of Jamie’s grasp and taking several steps back. There are tears building in his eyes and Jamie just wants to reach for him, to kiss them away, but Tyler is yelling before he gets the chance to. 

“What the _fuck_ Jamie? Seriously, what the fuck are you doing?” Tyler yells, contrasting with the gentle way in which he’s pressing his fingers to his lips. 

“I’m sorry, I thought you would want-“

“What? Your fucking pity? Are you joking me?”

And okay, so Jamie can see how that must have looked from Tyler’s perspective. Tyler who thought Jamie was a homophobe until five minutes ago, who _still_ thinks Jamie is straight. Hell, Jamie himself only realised he _wasn’t_ about twenty minutes ago. So Tyler has no chance, really. 

“No, that’s not, no,” Jamie pauses to collect his thoughts, “it wasn’t pity. I wouldn’t mess with you like that.”

“Then what? You can’t _do_ that, Jamie,” Tyler says, and he sounds so fragile Jamie just wants to wrap his arms around him. 

And honestly, that’s kind of a new feeling. Or, not really, he guesses, he’d just pushed it away before, channelled his affection into other feelings, other explanations. But now, now he can’t believe he was ever able to refrain from touching Tyler, from kissing him. 

“I’m in love with you too,” Jamie confesses, and he can’t believe he was so worried about saying it, because it feels like the easiest, most natural thing in the world. 

Tyler just freezes, his eyes wide and trained on Jamie, who tries to offer him a smile, but it probably looks more like a grimace. Jamie’s heart is beating so fast; he just wants them to be okay. 

“I - what?”

“I’m in love with you, Tyler,” Jamie says again, this time with a proper smile on his face, because it’s pretty damn hard to say those words _without_ smiling. 

Tyler frowns, “No, you can’t even stand the thought of being with another guy.”

Jamie shakes his head, “No, I can’t stand the thought of _you_ being with another guy.”

Tyler scoffs, “Exactly.”

“No, Tyler, I can’t stand the thought of you being with another guy because I want you to be with _me_ ,” Tyler rolls his eyes, “and I know it sounds stupid, believe me it’s just as much of a surprise to me as it is to you, but I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Jamie stop,” Tyler whispers, but he’s looking at Jamie now, with something resembling hope shining in his eyes. 

“I’m serious. I realised like, half an hour ago,” he says after checking the clock on the wall, “or Jordie told me, actually, but whatever. I’m serious.”

“Jordie?”

“Yeah, apparently he’s actually pretty observant,” Jamie jokes, “but I’m not fucking with you, okay? Every time I got angry when I saw you leave with a guy? Every time I felt sick when I saw you flirt with someone? It’s because _I_ wanted you. I still do.”

Tyler’s breath hitches and faint blush spreads across the top of his cheeks, and fuck Jamie wants to kiss it, wants to see how far he can make it spread. 

“You want me?” Tyler asks hesitantly. 

“So much,” Jamie says. 

“Like, really?”

“I love you,” Jamie repeats, because he doesn’t know how else to make Tyler see. 

“Oh.”

“Can I kiss you now? Please?” Jamie asks, almost begs. 

Tyler nods, opens his mouth to reply, but Jamie doesn’t give him the chance. He fits their lips together again, wrapping one arm around Tyler’s waist and then using the other to cup his jaw, ever so gently, desperate for Tyler to know how precious he is to Jamie. 

Tyler lets out a whimper as Jamie runs his tongue across Tyler’s bottom lip, and fuck if it isn’t the most beautiful sound Jamie has ever heard. He wants to spend the rest of his life drawing sounds like that out of Tyler, and that’s. A lot. But also not. Because Jamie has, at least subconsciously, known since he met Tyler that they’d be in each other’s lives forever. It’s just this way, he gets to kiss him too. 

When they eventually pull back they don’t move far away, they just rest their foreheads together, their breath mixing between them. Tyler laughs a little, and Jamie can’t help but join in as he pulls Tyler even closer into his chest. 

“You’re serious,” Tyler states. 

“I’m serious,” Jamie confirms, brushing his lips over Tyler’s cheek in a gentle kiss. 

“This is, god, I never even let myself _hope_ for this,” Tyler says. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out,” Jamie apologises as he brushes his fingers against the bare skin of Tyler’s hips. 

“I think I can forgive you,” Tyler says. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, as long as you kiss me again,” Tyler grins. 

And that is something Jamie can definitely do. 

*

Later that night, when they’re lying in bed, their bare legs tangled together beneath the sheets and Tyler’s head resting on Jamie’s chest, Tyler tilts his chin up to look Jamie in the eyes. 

“I should probably tell everyone we’re not fighting anymore,” Tyler laughs. 

“Yeah. Jordie, Daddy, and Sharpy were all ready to kill me, I think,” Jamie agrees. 

“Sorry about that,” Tyler says, pressing a kiss onto Jamie’s chest. 

“Hey, you don’t need to apologise, what I said was still out of line.”

“I just misunderstood,” Tyler argues. 

Jamie won’t let him think that though, because even though he didn’t mean any harm, he’d still treated Tyler like shit, and there was no way he was letting him blame himself for that. 

“No, what I said was shitty, especially about you being like how you were in Boston,” Jamie pauses, shifts so he has a hand on Tyler’s jaw and he’s looking directly at him, “you’re not that person anymore, and I was out of order saying that, okay?”

Tyler nods, a half smile on his lips, “Okay.”

“Good,” Jamie kisses his forehead, “now let them know they don’t have to hurt me.”

Tyler pats his hand around the bed until he finds his phone, then opens up their team group chat to let everyone know they can abandon Operation Kill Jamie. 

_**Segs:** me and chubbs are good now, it’s all fine_

_**Sharpy:** u sure buddy?_

And because they’re disgustingly adorable, and because Jamie has already accepted that he will never, ever be able to say no to anything that Tyler asks of him, (and because there is no way Jamie is ever going to keep Tyler a secret) they snap a quick selfie of them cuddled up in bed, and Tyler sends it. 

Tyler quickly locks his phone and tosses it somewhere on the bed, laughing as Jamie kisses down his neck and along his bare shoulders. 

“You know they’re gonna fine us out of our pay cheques for that, right?” Tyler laughs. 

“Worth it,” Jamie murmurs against Tyler’s lips, then kisses him so softly Tyler’s legs would probably give way if he was standing up. 

They ignore their phones lighting up, they can deal with everyone else tomorrow. For now, they just want to be.

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off that tumblr(?) post about the guy who thought he was being homophobic when he was actually just in love with his roommate. 
> 
> \- Jamie and Tyler always get so many fines  
> \- like they just can’t keep their hands off each other  
> \- and they’re more than happy to pay them  
> \- the team is obviously 100% accepting of them  
> \- they don’t come out publicly for a long time  
> \- but after they win the cup in 2020 they decide it’s time  
> \- it’s awful, and it’s amazing too  
> \- they get married eventually, and Marshall, Cash and Gerry all wear bow ties


End file.
